Outsider Looking In

I've noticed, in the few days that I've been to Rome, that I'm a blatant tourist no matter what I do. I carry my wallet in my hand constantly and lug my backpack around everywhere; I take pictures of the smallest things, like the way the trees in Europe are different from those in Massachusetts; and I am hopelessly, completely lost in the city, oftentimes struggling with the language barrier when I try to experience "real" Italy by going to supermarkets or shopping for fresh fruit in the markets of the Campo di Fiore. So I've learned some things about Rome that have really opened my eyes to the fact that I'm experiencing a completely different culture (though you'd think the fact that signs are written in Italian would have driven that notion home by now).

1. Don't run anywhere. Seriously. Nobody runs for buses. Or runs to avoid passing cards. Or runs to catch a tram because that's your fastest way out of wherever-the-hell, Italy. If you're Italian, the traffic will part for you immediately as you casually stroll down the street. Or the motorcycles will not give a fuck and zoom in front of you while your crossing, because they like to squeeze themselves through the smallest places. Basically you just have to have the confidence to step into a busy street without looking both ways. Unless a bus comes. Because those are nasty mothers.

2. Always. Have. Change. God forbid you expect to break bills in a supermarket. I think the most terrifying experience of this trip so far has been my encounter with an extremely frustrated cashier women, dealing with four or five Americans who have no idea that we're supposed to pay with the smallest bills possible, and who can't even speak enough Italian to know how much change they owe. Hell hath no fury like an Italian breaking bills.

3. You will never be on time for anything. Even your best-laid plans will fall through, because the bus you want isn't appearing even after a string of seven buses have passed, or three trams have gone by in the time that you've been waiting for the one you need. You'll also get lost, because there's a lot to cover in Rome and a lot of side alleys that look alike, so you'll probably have to walk to the place you need. Because your bus broke down. Or the subway closes at nine.

4. Dining is strange. The cafes are fast-paced and crowded, and they charge you extra if you want to enjoy your meal outside, though the majority of Italians will take their pastries and cappuccinos leisurely at the counter. (Takeout is pretty nonexistent in the more formal Italian establishments.) Dinner doesn't really start here until around eight at night, and some of the restaurants stay relatively empty until even later. And the food is always delicious and always filling, no matter how strange it looks or how many miles you walk. Even the orange juice is fantastic. And I hate orange juice.

5. Be aggressive. If you want to get on the subway at rush hour so you don't get left behind by your entire group, you need to start elbowing people in the gut. It's basically the Italian hello in the more crowded sections of the city. No one will wait for you to get onto a bus, or order your food, or cross the street; you can't be demure about it, or really even polite, because they will shove right past you in order to get to where they're going.